it's been so boring, president obama said he actually wants to focus on situations in libya and japan. [ laughter ] -- there's no games to watch. speaking of libya, moammar gadhafi is said to be hiding out in a series of underground tunnels. that's basically admitting you're evil, right? [ laughter ] i mean, no one -- no one every goes, "i'm innocent of all charges. now, if you need me, i'll be hiding out in a series of underground tunnels." [ light laughter ] check this out, a new study found that many woodwind and brass instruments used by high school bands are contaminated with bacteria. so remember kids, always practice safe sax. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i was just reading about this, in a new interview, martin sheen says he knows what his son charlie sheen is going through. when asked what that is, he said, "lots of drugs and porn stars." [ laughter ] i just saw this, new york city has a new service that let's you fight a parking ticket online. and this is nice, to make you feel like you're talking to a real clerk, your computer will spend the whole time chewing gum and talking